The Beginning

Note: My child is nonbinary uses they them pronouns for those who are unfamiliar to give context before reading

Non-binary | An adjective describing a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories. While many also identify as transgender, not all non-binary people do. Non-binary can also be used as an umbrella term encompassing identities such as agender, bigender, genderqueer or gender-fluid.

It all begins with wondering why my child never seemed to want to look at me while talking to them or when taking a picture or why toys never had a gender to them.It was stuffies,dolls,building blocks match box cars transformers and star wars.Barbies,dress up,Light saber battles.Why did it take so long to potty train was I doing something wrong as a first time parent.Why was it so hard to use both feet to climb stairs only using the same foot over and over not alternating until age 5.Looking back now it makes sense in the beginning I didn’t question it.I never realized I was supposed too.

Ok let’s skip ahead to kindergarten.Went to pick up line had to circle around because they couldn’t find my child.They had wandered off in the school.Maybe no big deal but odd for a new experience to have no fear.Still had difficulty learning shoe tying just couldn’t seem to grasp it.I thought ok we’re just a bit behind no big deal.Couldn’t skip coordination wasn’t there.Couldn’t peddle a bike kept forgetting how to alternate motions.Finally mastered the peddling then couldn’t keep balance on 2 wheels.Tried to play soccer sat in the field and picked flowers instead.Still I thought ok just haven’t figured some things out yet we just need more time.

Let’s jump ahead one more time Now we ‘re in Second grade.Teacher says Im concerned with the learning difficulty with math and can’t seem to keep focus.Teacher suggests a evaluation by the school.Basc test ok we agreed.Results came in pointing to Attention Deficit Hyper Active Disorder Possible Autism.We take our child to see a therapist to see if it would help work on the attention issues and spend more time before trying any medication.No one had said to me maybe you should get the Autism possibility evaluated I hadn’t experienced any females with it so I had no idea what I was supposed to be looking for or given any guidance from the school on next steps.

It had only gotten worse sensory issues pulling and tugging at clothes ended up on ADHD medication which only seemed to worsen the issues.4th Grade we stopped medication.5th grade back on medication math continued to be a struggle as well as focusing,clothing sensitivities,interrupting,talking to much.6th Grade comes we have a meeting.a teacher says my child is defiant due to the issues in math.I said no they don’t understand.Frustrated after trying medication,counseling,bahvior programs at school.I said enough I Pushed for the ADOS testing to see if indeed Autism was part of the issues.Test Came back ASD Level 1.I felt relieved no one would listen to me because female born children present autism traits differently.I then asked to have an Independent Education evaluation as the school did not want to provide a IEP individualized education plan.We got the testing came back ASD Autism spectrum disorder,ADHD combined type and a Learning disability in math.I wanted to go back and yell at the math teacher who called them defiant shame on you but,I didnt.I was just happy to have a way forward.